ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mom said you looked used
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rumble strips road head = magical
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
