If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
