So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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