You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
