i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
