i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Farmville is her only friend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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