just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize