She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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