38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
