I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
