Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
