Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sponge bath it is.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
