You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
