Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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