I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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