You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
