Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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