well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
