I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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