so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
