Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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