Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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