yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize