Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize