THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
