I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
