I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
