I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
