is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
