that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
