I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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