It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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