i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wear drunk well.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
