respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
