Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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