so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
