I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
