pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
