All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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