if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
