I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
did i walk over a car last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
