i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
