According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
