Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
