theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
