high people should be assigned attendants
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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