do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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