Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Randomize
