420 ftw
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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