good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
