I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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