I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
