Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
