dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize