I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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