We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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