i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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