saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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