Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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