she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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