carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize