I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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