***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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